Time To Recover

Friday Moe and I went to visit his brother in his new house .Several of Moe's sisters and their kids were there as well , so it was a lovely way to spend the day.Another brother in law dropped by as well . The house is really nice . It is like a American open plan house with a great kitchen loaded with all the latest appliances , like a dishwasher. Can you tell I am a little envious ?LOL!My sister in law seemed bent on stuffing us all from the minute we arrived there , to the minute we left.I think we must have gained 10 kilos.

We sat around and talked while keeping a sharp eye out on the tv for the latest news on the offensive in Sirte and Bani Walid.The news bulletins kept us on the edge of our seats at times , others we were ready to throw things at the tv. As we talked the conversation moved , as it seems to do these days , to our individual war experiences. We were divided into groups of : those of us who stayed the entire war here in Libya, to those of us that stayed for just part of the war ,moving to another country until the rebels/ freedom fighters came to Tripoli. Some of us live outside of Libya , so their stories, while different from most of ours, they were no less traumatic.But we all had a story.

As more relatives arrived the furniture had to be moved around to accommodate a larger sitting plan.My sister in law had picked up a large wooden table to move. Since it was entirely too heavy for her to lift alone , it slipped from her hands and crashed to the marble floor with a loud bang.In that instant you could tell which ones of us had lived abroad, which ones of us had stayed for part of the  war , and which ones of us had stayed the entire war .The ones who lived abroad said: WOW .The ones who stayed for part of the war jumped and looked around . The others like Moe and I that had stayed the entire war  screamed and jumped , terrified that somehow  we were under attack as irrational as that seemed.

On the way home , we got caught up in a road block were the guys manning it were in a celebratory mood.They were firing off round after round of missiles and bullets from guns until the air was fogged with smoke.We were close to the actions . It was intimidatingly frightening as it was the first time in 7 months Moe and I had been out of the Condo after dark  #1, and #2 all those bullets have to come down somewhere and we were way too close for comfort.This went on for about 5 minutes that seemed like an hour to us as we waited . I am so glade I wasn't driving .Our niece that was in the car with us was totally stressed out from it as she had already been caught in a gun battle once before during the war in a car.It brought back scary memories for her and her dad who was our driver.

I had thought that I was ok . That our experiences from the war were mild. I realized this wasn't the case once we had arrived home and I had time to reflect on the days activities. Thinking back, I realized that I had become nervous when the front door of my brother in laws house was left open. The door was only a few meters from the outer door in the wall that surrounds the property. Way too close to just leave open like that where anyone could walk in freely. The incident with the falling table , the drive home after dark , and the open door. I guess it will take time to recover . 

Painting by : Tilly Strauss , " Easter Greetings".

History Check

This week end we had visitors . The first to come over was Moe's younger brother and his family. They had returned from Tunis where they had been for the last 2 months. We were so glade to see one another we couldn't stop hugging .We were the survivors of war . Each one of us had a story we wanted to tell .And we all wanted to them at the same time ,lol.We looked like grinning idiots . We couldn't stop grinning. If we weren't grinning , then one or more of us were crying about some one or something that had happened.They stayed for a long time but the time just flew by on wings.So nice to see them all safe and healthy.

Then yesterday Moe's sister that lives here , her husband , and their daughter with her son , along with the sister that lives in the US came over to visit.The sister here we hadn't seen in months . Her husband had been quite ill during the war. How great it was to see him back on his feet again.I hadn't met the little baby before I am ashamed to say . He isn't exactly a baby any more . He will be 2 years old next month ,lol. He is a doll . OMG , if he were a girl , how beautiful would he be?Our sister that lives in the US hasn't been home in a year .It was so good to see her again . She had stories also of how the war had affected her in the US, watching it from afar. How hard it had been for the Libyans in the States to watch on tv. She brought news of our daughters there in America.

Again we all had stories we had to share with one another . Moe and I were retelling stories that we had told the day before .They were just as traumatic .We learned that a nephew had been fighting with rebels ( have to stop calling them that but don't have another name for them yet.) and he had left his family worried sick for  months with no news of him. I don't know how his mother lived through such an ordeal .I would have been insane.Another nephew in the family had been a on the ground reporter here. Getting the news out to news networks so the outside world would know what was happening here. A niece had been shot in her leg sitting in her yard. She was ok .Many others in the family that had been arrested for siding with the rebels where finally released from prison.. Our daughter was very involved in America with aid and volunteer services to come here to help the people.On and on the news of this one and that one came out . Eight months of no communications with one another , for if the phones were working , you couldn't talk freely on them . They were monitored of course. With no gasoline for the cars , there was no visiting . We shed years of rage with laughter of relief that we had made it through the war alive and well.

We all had questions concerning the future .Worries that all could turn out to be not what it seemed , after all Ghadaffy had started out ok , hadn't he?Why had this happened and not that?What next?How long did we estimate it would take to turn the country around.Of course we all had an opinion on that subject .Arm chair rulers , we had became.But the visits were good . A renewal of our family bonds .

We heard over and over not only from family, but friends as well, that it was safe to go out .Drive around in the city and the small town were we live. I had deep reserves about leaving the safety of our home until yesterday. Since yesterday was the first day in who knows when we hadn't heard gunfire somewhere near our home, Moe and I decided to go out yesterday morning . Just here in Tagura were we used to drive around .

Our favorite coffee shop was now open and ready for us . There were "oh how are you's" all around .People smiling and congratulations to one another for the Eid and the revolution's success was heard at all the different places we stopped.Again , everyone wanted to tell you their story

The most remarkable thing for me, was that every single place I looked , I saw people smiling uncontrollably .The young guys on guard duty at road blocks shouting out hello's and smiling like the Cheshire cat from ear to ear.Everyone flashing the peace sign that has taken the place of the up raised fist of the old regime.Out bursts of " ALLAH AKBAR" ( God is Great) in loud proud voices, zinging through the air like darts.Flags , hats , stickers on cars , buildings and walls with "Libya Hurra " ( Free Libya) written on them everywhere.And more smiling happy faces telling you that it was all worth it .I will be forever grateful to have been a part of this,the birth of a new nation. Amazing times . An awesome time  for the Libyan  people that have never know what freedom feels like before now. Imagine that if you can . Freedom ,how can you describe such a thing?

Painting by  Tilly Strauss: " Divorce Document #4 ".

A Day Of Tears

I think it was the 22nd of August ,the day after the "rebels" had come to Tripoli. It was a hot summers day outside and again the electricity was out.Moe and I decided that we would just stay in bed since it was way too hot to do anything around the house. We had been up all night long glued to the TV watching all the news channels .Al Jezeera, BBC, and CNN gave us blow by blow details of what was happening all around Tripoli , all but the news we so wanted to hear , that Ghadffy had been captured along with his sons.

We could hear in the distance car horns honking , gun fire hammering away at who knew what.On and on this continued through out the morning making sleep difficult as our imagination ran wild with all sorts of conjectures.After several hours of trying and failing to find sleep , we got up. I decided I would risk being possibly shot by sitting next to the living room balcony doors that over looked the main road that runs in front of the Condo building.It was apparent that there were many cars and trucks to-ing and fro-ing but to what purpose I couldn't tell.Did this extra activity mean Ghadffy was caught?

Going crazy sitting there staring out the doors at the street below, my mind went over the many things we ,our friends and family here had witnessed or experienced the last 6 months.I thought back to the time when Ghadffy promised to go from street to street, house to house, room to room searching for "rats" vowing to kill all he found.Our blood ran cold for we knew he would do as promised.He did in Misarata ,destroying the once lovely city.Thank God it didn't happen to Tripoli I thought selfishly.I remembered sneaking out on the balcony at 4a.m.one time to hang the laundry to dry because it was quite in the neighborhood. I had assumed all were sleeping and it to be safe.Well , we all know what happens when you assume things.I was incorrect in thinking I would have that time all to myself.I heard scuffling noises in the ally below our condo.Hidden by the hanging sheets I looked over them to see 20 mercenaries marching in the alley below with walky talky's carrying guns , knives , and machetes.I backed back into the condo as quietly as I was able, collapsing onto the couch shaking uncontrollably, wondering how long it would be before they  would come to break down our door? That was when Moe and I started to stay up all night , every night, so that we would be dressed and fully alert in case something like that did ever happen. Better to be awake than sleepy if your door is kicked in at 4a.m.In any case, that night we where saved.No one came to our door. We heard that they went further down our street to other families ;that they kicked in their doors killing some , taking away others.Then there was the time we had a shoot out in broad daylight one day in the street below. I was almost hit by a bullet from a shooter in the street below.One of the worse nights was the night we heard the distinctive creaking-squeaking sounds of tanks rolling down the tiny alley behind our condo.We sat in the dark waiting  for the tanks to fire on the condo building.Luckily for us , they kept rolling on down the street to close it off , not to fire on us.

Many more things rushed through my mind that day as I sat looking out those doors.My mind turned once again to Ghadffy and all the sorrow and suffering he had caused our family. He had arrested Mohamed's father , tortured him , publicly humiliated him on state TV, forcing him to confessing to crimes he never committed,and caused him to go blind in one eye while in prison due to no medical treatment.He had a hit put out on Moe in the early 1980's that thankfully was unsuccessful .Tried to kidnap our children at one point when we lived in the US in order to get at Moe.That didn't work out either.The list just went on.

For more than 40 years that man had controlled our lives in one way or another.Maybe the honking horns outside meant he had been captured?I noticed that my nose was dripping and that I had begun to cry at some point and wasn't even aware that I was crying.I cried thinking that this evil was over and he could never hurt anyone else again.I felt so odd thinking that, no more worry about what you said to whom, where , or when.How a life so free will be here in Libya. How wonderful.How liberating!

Then I thought of all the exiled Libyans outside of Libya , how they must be feeling right at that moment.All the times they had said if only he were gne . If only things would change , I want to go home but can't live in Libya as long as Ghadffy is in power.Well, he was finally gone.Their diaspora had an end at last. So I sat and thought.I cried for them , that they were not in Libya to live this magnificent moment in history. I was so sad for them being on the outside looking in on this long awaited day none of  us thought would ever come.I cried because Mohamed's generous and loving father didn't live to enjoy this day.I cried because I thought it was all over.

So , Moe and I went back to bed to sleep off the euphoria in the heat not really caring that it was melting inside the condo because we were so happy .Several hours later the lights came on . We rushed to turn on the TV news channels to see if our assumptions were true.All our hopes came crashing down. Ghadffy was still at large , free to wreck havoc in our lives, unchecked .The tears flowed down both our checks this time in unstoppable despair .Maybe tomorrow we will wake up to learn Ghadffy has been arrested and is in custody.Maybe.

The sadist thing was when our oldest grandson who just turned 4 years old tried to describe the fighting that took place around his home last week to me when he came to wish us Happy Eid yesterday.The sounds of machine guns , the smoke in the air that burned his little nose, the fire shooting in the sky from cannon fire, and the dead bodies he was able to see from his window, lying below in the street.No child should ever have such stories to tell .