Showing posts with label computer humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label computer humor. Show all posts

Friday, September 17, 2010

God Bless Them


Here are some ACTUAL conversations by individuals to HELP CENTERS . God bless them .
 

the last one is best
HELLO  OPERATOR
Actual call center conversations!
>
Customer:
> 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't
> get
through;
> Can you help?'

>Operator: 'Where did you get
>that number, sir?'

>Customer: 'It's on the door of your
>business.'

>Operator: ' Sir, those are the hours
>that we are open.'
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

>
Samsung Electronics
>
Caller: 'Can
> you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

>Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who
>you are talking about.'

>Caller: 'On page 1,
>section 5, of the user guide it clearly
> states that I Need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and Telephone Jack before  cleaning. Now, can you give me the Number for Jack?'

>Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
>----------------------------------------------------------------------

>
RAC
> Motoring Services

>
Caller: 'Does
> your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
>
> Traveling in Australia ?'
>Operator: 'Does the product name give you a
>clue?'

>
---------------------------------------------
> -------------------------

>
Caller
> (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
>'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change

>
the
> steering

>
wheel
> to the other side of the car?'

>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
Directory
> Enquiries

>
Caller:
> 'I'd like the number of the Argo
> Fish Bar, please'
>Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure
>that the spelling is correct?'
>Caller: 'Well, it used to
>be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
Then
> there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in
> Woven.
>Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
>Caller: 'Yes.
>That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland '

>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from
>a phone

>
box
>
told
> a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
> window to write

>
the
> number on..'
>----------------------------------------------------------------------

>
Tech
> Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open
> Desktop.'
>Customer: 'OK.'
>Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up
> menu?'
>Customer: 'No.'
>Tech Support: 'OK . Right-Click again.
>Do you see a pop-up menu?'
>Customer: 'No.'
>Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell
>me what you have done up until this
>
> Point?'
>Customer: 'Sure. You
>told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
Tech
> Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side
> of your screen, can
>
> You see the 'OK' button
> displayed?'
>Customer:
> 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
Caller:
> 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized
> that I need it. So, if

>
I
> turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back
> again?
'
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think
>this guy should

>
have
> been promoted, not fired. This

>
is
> a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline,

>
which
> was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
> department. Needless to

>
say
> the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
> suing

>
the
> WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'
Actual
> dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
> Support employee.
>(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>
>Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance;
>may I help you?'
>Caller: 'Yes,
> well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
>Operator: 'What sort of
> trouble??'
>Caller: 'Well,
> I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
> Went
> away.'
>Operator: 'Went away?'
>Caller: 'They
> disappeared'
>Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your
>screen look like now?'
>Caller: 'Nothing.'
>Operator: 'Nothing??'
>Caller: 'It's
> blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
>Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect,
>or did you get out?'
>Caller: 'How
> do I tell?'
>Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt'
>on the screen?'
>Caller: 'What's
> a sea-prompt?'
>Operator: 'Never mind, can you move
>your cursor around the screen?'
>Caller: 'There
> isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything
> I
> Type.'
>Operator: 'Does your monitor
>have a power indicator??'
>Caller: 'What's
> a monitor?'
>Operator: 'It's the thing
>with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
> Does
> it have a little light that tells you when it's
>on?'
>Caller: 'I
> don't know.'
>Operator: 'Well, then look
>on the back of the monitor and find where
> the
> power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
>Caller: 'Yes,
> I think so.'
>Operator: 'Great. Follow the
>cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> plugged
> into the wall.
>Caller: 'Yes,
> it is.'
>Operator: 'When you were behind
>the monitor, did you notice that
> there
> were two cables plugged into the back of it, not
> just
> one?
> '
>Caller: 'No.'
>Operator: 'Well, there are.
>I need you to look back there again and
> find
> the other cable.'
>Caller: 'Okay,
> here it is.'
>Operator: 'Follow it for me,
>and tell me if it's plugged securely into
> the
> back of your computer.'
>Caller: 'I
> can't reach.'
>Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
>Caller: 'No.'
>Operator: 'Even if you maybe
>put your knee on something and lean
> way
> over?'
>Caller: 'Well,
> it's not because I don't have the right angle --
> it's
> because
> it's dark.'
>Operator: 'Dark?'
>Caller: 'Yes
> - the office light is off, and the only light I have
> is
> coming
> in from the window.'
>Operator: 'Well,
> turn on the office light then.'
>Caller: 'I
> can't.'
>Operator: 'No?
> Why not?'
>Caller: 'Because
> there's a power failure.'
>Operator: 'A power
>... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
> licked
> now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
> packing
> stuff that your computer came in?'
>Caller: 'Well,
> yes, I keep them in the closet.'
>Operator: 'Good.
> Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
> up
> just like it was when you got it. Then take it back
> to
> the
> store you bought it from.'
>Caller: 'Really?
> Is it that bad?'
>Operator: 'Yes,
> I'm afraid it is.'
>Caller: 'Well,
> all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
>Operator: 'Tell
> them you're too stupid to own a computer!'
>