Friday, September 17, 2010

God Bless Them

Here are some ACTUAL conversations by individuals to HELP CENTERS . God bless them .

the last one is best
Actual call center conversations!
> 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't
> get
> Can you help?'

>Operator: 'Where did you get
>that number, sir?'

>Customer: 'It's on the door of your

>Operator: ' Sir, those are the hours
>that we are open.'

Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can
> you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

>Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who
>you are talking about.'

>Caller: 'On page 1,
>section 5, of the user guide it clearly
> states that I Need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and Telephone Jack before  cleaning. Now, can you give me the Number for Jack?'

>Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

> Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does
> your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
> Traveling in Australia ?'
>Operator: 'Does the product name give you a

> -------------------------

> (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
>'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change

> steering

> to the other side of the car?'

> Enquiries

> 'I'd like the number of the Argo
> Fish Bar, please'
>Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure
>that the spelling is correct?'
>Caller: 'Well, it used to
>be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

> there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in
> Woven.
>Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
>Caller: 'Yes.
>That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland '

>On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from
>a phone

> a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
> window to write

> number on..'

> Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open
> Desktop.'
>Customer: 'OK.'
>Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up
> menu?'
>Customer: 'No.'
>Tech Support: 'OK . Right-Click again.
>Do you see a pop-up menu?'
>Customer: 'No.'
>Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell
>me what you have done up until this
> Point?'
>Customer: 'Sure. You
>told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

> Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side
> of your screen, can
> You see the 'OK' button
> displayed?'
> 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

> 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized
> that I need it. So, if

> turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back
> again?
>This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think
>this guy should

> been promoted, not fired. This

> a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline,

> was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
> department. Needless to

> the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
> suing

> WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'
> dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
> Support employee.
>(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance;
>may I help you?'
>Caller: 'Yes,
> well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
>Operator: 'What sort of
> trouble??'
>Caller: 'Well,
> I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
> Went
> away.'
>Operator: 'Went away?'
>Caller: 'They
> disappeared'
>Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your
>screen look like now?'
>Caller: 'Nothing.'
>Operator: 'Nothing??'
>Caller: 'It's
> blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
>Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect,
>or did you get out?'
>Caller: 'How
> do I tell?'
>Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt'
>on the screen?'
>Caller: 'What's
> a sea-prompt?'
>Operator: 'Never mind, can you move
>your cursor around the screen?'
>Caller: 'There
> isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything
> I
> Type.'
>Operator: 'Does your monitor
>have a power indicator??'
>Caller: 'What's
> a monitor?'
>Operator: 'It's the thing
>with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
> Does
> it have a little light that tells you when it's
>Caller: 'I
> don't know.'
>Operator: 'Well, then look
>on the back of the monitor and find where
> the
> power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
>Caller: 'Yes,
> I think so.'
>Operator: 'Great. Follow the
>cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> plugged
> into the wall.
>Caller: 'Yes,
> it is.'
>Operator: 'When you were behind
>the monitor, did you notice that
> there
> were two cables plugged into the back of it, not
> just
> one?
> '
>Caller: 'No.'
>Operator: 'Well, there are.
>I need you to look back there again and
> find
> the other cable.'
>Caller: 'Okay,
> here it is.'
>Operator: 'Follow it for me,
>and tell me if it's plugged securely into
> the
> back of your computer.'
>Caller: 'I
> can't reach.'
>Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
>Caller: 'No.'
>Operator: 'Even if you maybe
>put your knee on something and lean
> way
> over?'
>Caller: 'Well,
> it's not because I don't have the right angle --
> it's
> because
> it's dark.'
>Operator: 'Dark?'
>Caller: 'Yes
> - the office light is off, and the only light I have
> is
> coming
> in from the window.'
>Operator: 'Well,
> turn on the office light then.'
>Caller: 'I
> can't.'
>Operator: 'No?
> Why not?'
>Caller: 'Because
> there's a power failure.'
>Operator: 'A power
>... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
> licked
> now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
> packing
> stuff that your computer came in?'
>Caller: 'Well,
> yes, I keep them in the closet.'
>Operator: 'Good.
> Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
> up
> just like it was when you got it. Then take it back
> to
> the
> store you bought it from.'
>Caller: 'Really?
> Is it that bad?'
>Operator: 'Yes,
> I'm afraid it is.'
>Caller: 'Well,
> all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
>Operator: 'Tell
> them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

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