Sand Dunes & Snowmen

It is a wonderful 81degrees outside with winds at 20+ mph( that's 27 degrees with winds of 34.5km/h) blowing sand dunes into the Condo . Worse is predicted for tomorrow. This is the weather in Tripoli for a week now , more or less, and I am so fed up with it all ! I keep having to dig the living room out from under a rapidly growing sand dune. Where is the cold weather the rest of the world is experiencing ? It December for goodness sakes!ARGH !!!! Well , in hopes that this will prim the the Libyan "JOE" toward cooler weather , here are a few Snowmen to give it a hint or two . Is it snowing with you ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some Random Thoughts For You To Randomly Think About

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. 

 

 Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. 

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again. 

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft. 

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what  was going on when I first saw it. 

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 

Was learning cursive really necessary? 

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? 

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! 

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. 

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 

Bad decisions make good stories.

 

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. 

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. 

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?' 

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed. 

 I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? 

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. 

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time... 

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to that?

It really pi$$es me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pi$$ed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. 

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fatty before dinner. 

And that's all folks !

Jokes Of The Day

1. How do you catch a unique rabbit ?
Unique up on it !!!! LOL !

2. How do you catch a tame rabbit ?
Tame way .Duh !

3. How do crazy people go through the forest ?
They take the psycho path .

4.How do you get Holy Water ?
You boil the Hell out of it !

5. What do fish say when they hit a concert wall ?
DAM !

6.What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long ?
Polaroid's !

7. What do you cal a boomerang that doesn't work ?
You're gonna love this one ......... A Stick !

8. What do you call cheese that isn't yours ?
Nacho cheese ! HAHAHAHHAHA !!!

9. What do you cal Santa's helpers ?
Subordinate Clauses !

10. What do you call 4 bullfighters in quicksand ?
Quattro sinko !!!

11.What do you get from a pampered cow ?
Spoiled milk ! Ok , so maybe this one wasn't all that funny !


12. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire ?
Frostbite !

13. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches ?
A nervous wreck !!!! Oh , I love that one !!!

14. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup ?
Anyone can roast beef . I don't get it , do you ?

15. Where do you find a dog with no legs ?
Right where you left him !

16. Why do gorillas have big nostrils ?
Duh , because they have BIG fingers !17. Why don't blind people like to sky dive ?
Because it scares their dogs !

18. What kind of coffee did they serve on the Titanic ?
Sanka !

19. Why did the Pilgrims pants always fall down ?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their hats !

Computer Stupid -Funny

Here are some calls to different computer customer service assistance centers from around the world . Enjoy !

Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.




Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.

Customer: 'OK'.

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.

Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.




Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button
displayed?'

Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'