Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Have You Heard About This ?

UN Decides to Shut Down Internet Permanently

Global Press Syndicate

New York City, April 1, 2008

In special session, the United Nations General Assembly voted 165 to 6 with one abstention to shut down the Internet. The reason given was that the rapid and uncontrolled flow of information was destabilizing the governments of many of the member states. Furthermore, the Internet has increasingly become a vehicle for fraud and scams. Finally, the Internet produced the infamous "DOT COM" debacle which had disastrous repercussions for the World economy.

"We simply can not have all of the communications power of the Internet in private hands," said Chu-Fen Li, representative of the People's Republic of China.

"The Internet has become a channel for terrorists and criminals to pursue their agendas," was the official statement of the United States. "In addition, the decrease in mail volume has hurt the Postal Service seriously."

The six countries that voted against the shutdown were Nigeria and five Caribbean banking havens. The Nigerian representative stormed out after the vote saying that the shutdown would destroy his country's largest source of income.

North Korea made the sole abstention, with the representative Kim Son Fan saying, "What the heck is the Internet? Never heard of it."

The shutdown is to take place immediately, as soon as the representatives of the member states can E-mail their respective governments of the decision.

Financial markets reacted swiftly. Stock prices of all Internet companies fell to flat zero immediately. Several former Internet billionaires committed suicide. Several others have disappeared without a trace.

Microsoft announced that it was buying up all of the equipment and fiber optic cables from the defunct Internet companies and would use these to open a new, controlled access, subscription-only service called "Micro-Net" which would provide information, advertising, and spam free communications including telephone service to former Internet users. Prices will start at only $500 per month per user. The price of a share of Microsoft stock rose 9,615 points.

In related news, Bill Gates of Microsoft Corporation announced that he will purchase the entire State of Hawaii for use as his personal resort. He said that all US military bases will be permitted to remain but businesses and residents would be required to leave.

This is a April Fools joke ! I repeat , not a real thing . Just a joke ! I did find this April Fools blog post I thought you might like . Have a Great Day and Happy April Fools Day !


on the edge said...

Just a few more Pranks for you ....





MusicLover said...

Comcast and BitTorrent: Enemies Become "Net-Neutral" Friends


Your April Fool Prank is out because there is a huge issue about my internet provider Comcast is slowing the internet traffic for those who use BitTorrent program.

Verizon has gained a lot of customers from this incident specially in Portland " Certain neighborhoods" as the city is one of test markets for FIOS which is far faster than cable and displays better quality HDTV programs.

The internet traffic in future will slow when people start in huge numbers downloading Blue Ray films illegally as the files are huge comparing to now.

it's a thing we call music

Very nice piece of video

Happy April Fool

Thank you for the pranks

Lebeeya said...

Grrrr! I actually believed it for a slit second. You April Fooled me :P

Thanks for sharing :)