Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Things I Have Become Aware Of

I have hidden my head in the sand long enough .I have refused to believe that certain things exist here in Libya because I just didn't want to admit it was so . My children and my friends have all said for sometime that these conditions exist but I blindly refused to say it's true . I give up ! It's true , all of it sad to say .

What am I talking about ? Well, prejudices towards women like me and my children .It breaks my heart to know that this really is a emotion here and it is alive and well .I am hated because I am from another country ,a different culture , have hair and eyes that are of a different color from the norm here in Libya .

I may look different . I might speak broken Arabic , but I have lived more than half my life here.I am married to a Libyan , born and raised Libyan children here . I have buried a son here .I have cried here, laughed here, and prayed here . I became a Muslim here .I respect myself and others around me . I obey the laws .And for all that I and my children are looked down upon . This is true for many of the other foreigner women married to Libyans also . I know it has nothing to do with whether or not I wear a Hijab or not also . It is just because I am different . Different is not accepted .

Sad to say this prejudice has reared it's ugly head toward my children off and on . They are as Libyan as the next Libyan. Luckily they are also as American as anyone in America . They have the best of both worlds ; culture ,heritage ,languages, families , and a choice of two countries .They love their two countries and are proud to have such a rich inheritance .

The other thing I have " discovered " since moving back here in 1990 is the abundance of Black Magic that is practiced here .I never even thought about such a thing when we lived here in the 1970's , or heard of it either . Now days even sane people are talking about Black Magic or the Evil Eye . Of course it is flatly denied that this practice even exists here but it is rampant as unbelievable as that may seem in 2008 .

I am constantly being warned to beware of the Evil Eye. I always tell the person warning me OK but really .... come on , I mean it is 2008 right ? But they are very serious. I just continue to remind them that to practice Black Magic is against the religion . That's when I am deluged with all sorts of stories about this one and that one that had a spell cast upon them and the horrible consequences that befell them for not taking precautions against it .

I know it is 2008 because my calendar tells me so. I am not truly convinced it isn't the Dark Ages sometimes since these things are still happening . Maybe I will wake up and find it is all a dream ? What are the odds of that happening ?


Serena said...

It sounds like something painful happened recently for you to address these issues. Well, on the positive side, you can carefully choose your friends, and negative, prejuidice people will not be in your circle!
You are a beautiful, sensitive, positive soul. Please stay that way!

Meme said...

Hey dear...

Well this discrimination affects many who look or sound different, have a different name or come from a different country.
maybe many of Libyans can't consider you as a Libyan citizen but it certainly does not mean that you're hated or not welcomed...
I've been following your blog for the last 3 months and i know for sure that you have raised a truly proud Libyans.

as for the black magic it's really a low percentage who believe in these stuff probably the old not educated people ....just ignore them as we all do

Rose Bud said...

WOW! I'm sorry that anything happened to make you feel that way. It has been a while since I have had to deal with that kind of behavior from Libyans but I remember every smirk and condescending look I got from people for being different. Espically when I spoke and had an accent. I spent a lot to years trying really hard to learn Arabic and finally was able to communicate but still, people wouldn't her what I say because they were too busy laughing at my accent. People wouldn't take me seriously and would think I was stupid because of it even though I learned to speak three different languages. I came to learn that it was ignorance. I am very happy to have that out of my life! Don't forget, no matter what, you are unique and special. You have something other people will never have. It's hard to be in the middle.

on the edge said...

Well thanks for all the kind things you have all said . Prejudice is every where sadly, not just here in Libya .So , I really shouldn't take it to heart , right ? It was just a bad day .

As for the Black Magic , that really does happen a lot here and to educated people too .But I keep telling whom ever starts to worry over this and is telling me all the horror stories that unless you believe , it won't work .Unfortunately ... they believe .

Salma said...

I wanted to cry just now and I have no idea what happened to you. I feel the same way in Egypt. I have cried, screamed and refused to go back there (to my husband). I'm sorry that our kids have to go through it...I think we are stronger but it is not fair to them. IGNORANCE!!!!!

Serena said...

It is known in my club that I don't tolerate gossip. I don't participate and I don't listen to it; thus, no one gossips in front of me. Maybe you can find a way to avoid listening to comments on black magic. That's your best protection in my opinion.

on the edge said...

Let me go on record as saying ..... I am NOT AFRAID of the Black Magic they practice here simply because in order to be afraid you have you believe and I don't .I am just amazed at how much it is practiced by all these so called self righteous , right thinking Muslims here in Libya .The ones that would love to join the Tailabad and go kill the non believer Infidels !They are so Holy Roller but still the break the Laws by practicing Black Magic which is expressly forbidden in the Quran .

I become shocked when I run into prejudice here in Libya because I have always been made welcome by almost everyone I meet , especially Moe's family . I have always been considered family by them and treated as such. So when I encounter bald hatred for no true apparent reason it bowls me over in shock .My kids did have to deal with it more than I did when dealing with the more ignorant uneducated people . Sadly , ignorant superstitious prejudice people are everywhere in this world , not just here in Libya .