Monday, February 2, 2009

Haroun


This is a picture of my son Haroun before he became very ill . It was taken on the day I had registered with the Islamic society as a Muslim. Even though I had converted 10 years before , I had never gotten around to registering . That was a very happy day for our entire family . Haroun was so thrilled .That was 7 years ago .He died 2 years later .

This was , I think , the only time I have worn the Hajab , or the scarf .I had to wear one to the Islamic society place . It felt odd to wear the Hajab , as if I was a impostor or something . At the same time , as strange as this will sound , it felt Holy ? I have a personal aversion to wearing the head scarf and all the other paraphernalia that Muslim women are supposed to wear . So , I felt like a hypocrite too that day . I know , a total contradiction huh ?

The picture above Haroun drew years before he became ill as a present to me . I loved it because it was a abstract and so expressed his talent as a artist .Years later on after he became addicted to heroin , he told me that this was the way he felt when he was on heroin, like a monster . We have this picture in our living room as a reminder of him .

12 comments:

MusicLover said...

Your son is a talented artist, please post more of his portofolio.

Rose Bud said...

May Allah Bless his sould. I hope he found the peace he was always looking for.

Pinky Tabor said...

hello there. your son have lived a beautiful life. most of the time pain and beauty go together and they entangle eachother. sometimes the beauty of things are just too unbearable that they hurt. you have a life so full of meaning...
love to you.

Shahrazad said...

MashaAllah your Haroun May he rest in peace habibty was not meant for this world ..

As for the hejab I too dont wear it -does that make me an infedele? I wear clothes that are neither tight nor loose ie just right.I dont like the scarf . I have friends who are nearly all wearing hejab but still I dont nor does my mother. My grandma does ...

A great picture!
Blessings and thanks for sharing with us

Khalid said...

Sorry to hear about your loss,OTD, my heart goes out to you, and your family, from the picture I can see he was very young, I hope it's not difficult to accept, we all are leaving, no one is staying here for ever, after all …

Rest in peace, Haroun.

on the edge said...

Ah , Haroun was a trick or treat , depending on how you looked at him , lol ! He was born on Halloween . Thank you all for your love and support .I really hadn't meant for the last two posts to be sad but sometimes things just write themselves huh ?

About the Hajab , I will write a thing on that one day and really bare my soul on that subject so to speak HAHAHAHHA !Take care all and Allah bless .

on the edge said...

Thank you all for sharing your love and pain . I truly believe what Allah has said to we humans , that He will NEVER give us more than we can withstand in our spirits .This has been proven to me and those I love over and over again . He made us strong , if we only reach deep to utilize that strength .Allah bless OTE

ibeebarbie said...

Salam On the Edge,

Wow! Haroun's artistic talent was amazing and yet how terribly sad to discover what he was so beautifully able to artistically draw was how he felt on the inside at time.

May Allah rest his soul and may he now have peace where once peace did not reside.

I look forward to reading your post on the non-wearing of the hijab. For I too do not wear it. And again like you feel some what like a hypocrite when doing so.

My love to you and Moe.

Meme said...

sorry for your lost dear...may allah bless his soul
by the way you look beautiful with the hijab

Serena said...

Haroun is forever in your heart.

Simsim said...

Hi, I read what you wrote and I think that you are strong and thank god that he gave you what little time you had with your son, may god bless his soul. You can also name a grandson for example after him like the libyans do. I dont know if this is right or wrong but !
Be strong .

on the edge said...

HI and welcome ! Haroun does have a 20 month old nephew named for him . His older brothers son . Thank you for the kind thoughts !