Friday, March 27, 2009

Home Is Where The Heart Is

I was just reading Iman's blog . She was talking about her move from the States to Egypt last year , her new marriage, and her adjustments to life back in Egypt . It brought to mind things many of us have gone through when we just jump off the deep end of Life to live away from our homes .

These new places become our homes , most times slowly but surely .Take Moe and I for instance , we lived here in LIBYA off and 3 different times over 37 years . We lived in the States 3 different times as well. Here , there, and it seems sometimes , everywhere . We once tried England , but both of us are true southerners and can't take the cold , the long dark winters , and the chilly summers there . England is so beautiful though. Just not our cup of tea .

One thing I found out ... no matter where you move to , who you are , and where you are from , when you move away you will be home sick . Regardless of how much you wanted to move .Here is the trick I learned when going through this process of adjustment ...... don't go " HOME" for at least 2 years or more . Give your self time to adjust to your new home .

Every place has it's own quirks .The town just one away from where you live would be different to you , let alone a major move to a different country .You need the flavor of the new place to seep into your bones . Discover the people , the food , the weather , the smells . Let it become you .Tell your self " this is my home now ." Believe it and live it . Stop saying ... " well back home " this or that happens , or we have this or that, because now this new place is your home . Embrace it . If you do all that then you will be happy to come back " HOME" after your visit to you old home .

I see and hear of expats that are never happy no matter where they live or how much luxury they live in because they never adjust . Many don't even try to make the changes .They are happy to be miserable . I feel sorry for those people . What a wonderful chance they are throwing away .

And by they way I am not speaking of only Westerners living outside their countries , but other nationality's as well .I have seen Libyans living in the laps of luxury but totally miserable because they are not " HOME" . The constant comparison to "HOME" holds their joy back . SO , long story short , try to adjust to the new place and learn all about it from the locals point of view . One day you might wake up and realize it has become a part of you too .


Herby said...

I like your blog very much and will come back and will look for new posts

mistika said...

Good advice!

Iman said...

Very good advice! Home truly is where the heart is.

ibeebarbie said...

Salam On the Edge,
AMEN! Very well written as well as very sound advice.

KhedegahMc said...

Asalom Alai Kom Ukhti,

MashAllah you always have sound advice for me. JaazakAllah Kharyun for that.

I am starting to get a bit nervous actually, because I may be going to Libya in June....yikes...I have butterflies already. But you know I try to keep a positive attitude as much as possible.
My Husband will be there, and I will be living with 14 members of my new family, Alhomdolelah.....I know people think I am a ''Najmoona'' (crazywomen) but hey...that is what I have chosen to do.

PS. My Husband will be coming to Ireland in a few weeks en sha Allah :) to help with the ''red tape''.

Ma Saloma
Khedegah xxxx

on the edge said...

AH , KhedegahMc !I am so excited you get to see your honey so soon and about living with relatives .... It will be very hard and trying many times but just keep reminding yourself it won't be forever ! LOL ! And HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND . Maybe you will get lucky and have a wonderful , loving family waiting for you ! Inshalah !!!!!

Pinky Tabor said...

i love this post and can relate so well...after one year of living here i am finally beginning to feel at home and less homesick now. this is where my loves are, so this is my home. except for the occasional "cravings" of some things back in my country, i have adjusted pretty well with life here.

we might go back to my country a few months after i give birth but am considering the prospect of settling here for good when my kids are much older. inshallah.