Sunday, April 25, 2010

A Fragile Bliss

Our lives , Moe's and mine , has been a blissful blending of days , melding one into another for the last several weeks . When asked how I have spent my day , I am at a loss for an explanation .I know I have done the mundane daily chores that rules my life . I know he has gone to the gym or the cafe for coffee and a visit with his friends , but ask me to describe in details , I am at a loss for words . I have spent time with friends talking of this and that , sharing in their lives , yet somehow untouched by them .Odd , it is odd to have such bliss in our lives .

Moe feels much the same way . We were discussing this today . He said he felt at peace , calm .I feel strangely under stressed . A alien state for us . Normally we have at least two or more crisis roiling through our lives on a daily basis , but not recently .Something always demanding our attention immediately ! Now ! Now ! Now !

Afternoons spent sitting on the beach watching the sea , the sky , all  life moving in time to earths rhythm like the waves .No need for words between the two of us , just a glance now and then for affirmation on the beauty of God's perfection . Long languid drives in the country side seeing  the march of progress slaying Natures work with new construction scattered here and there . This is how I remember our days being spent .

Last night this peace was fractured by a image of a child , dying of AIDS . It might have been a picture of our son .Unexpectedly this child tore into our hearts. We thought were over the heart piercing  pain of losing our son six years ago to AIDS . The kind of pain that tears the breath from your mouth . Makes you want to gag because it is like being punched in the solar plexus .I thought that sort of pain behind us , that we had moved on to a more neutral generic anguish . Something that we were living with , coping , less painful and manageable. Instead we both realized we are living in a fragile bliss that can be shattered in a moment .

Painting by Michael Naples :" Cracked Shell"

1 comment:

Rose Bud said...

It hits me from time to time like that too. It is difficult to deal with. The mysery and pain has no defenition.